The "terrible twos" refers to a normal stage in a child's development in which a toddler can regularly bounce between reliance on adults and a newly burgeoning desire for independence. The symptoms vary between children but can include frequent mood changes and temper tantrums.
Although parents often expect the terrible twos to occur around a child's second birthday, the behavior that's typical of this stage often begins around 18 months and can last until age 4. Children are undergoing big developmental changes around age 2. They are learning new gross motor skills, like jumping and climbing, and developing fine motor skills, like stacking blocks and scribbling with a crayon or marker.
However, their verbal skills may lag behind other abilities. Not being able to express their wants and needs can be frustrating to children, often leading to the outbursts that characterize the terrible twos. Without an emotional vocabulary to rely on, a child can quickly become frustrated and feel they have no means to express their feelings other than anger or aggression. Terrible twos symptoms are different from kid to kid, but there are some behavioral patterns that can signal to parents that their child might be in this tricky developmental stage.
These might include:. However, not all extreme toddler behavior can be chalked up to a passing phase of the terrible twos.
When outbursts are so prolonged, frequent, or disruptive that they affect your child's ability to eat, sleep, or attend daycare or preschool, it may be time to talk to an expert. Pediatricians and child psychologists can help identify whether a child's behavioral problems might be caused by treatable developmental delays, neurological differences, or other issues.
There are some things that you can do to help a child and yourself through a garden-variety case of the terrible twos. The first step is to try to prevent common triggers, like fatigue, hunger, and frustration, which can trigger outbursts:.
Toddlers are often happiest when you stick with daily routines, including regular naps and mealtimes. If there's a chance you might not be home when it's usually time for lunch or snack, pack something healthy for your child to munch on. It's a good distraction and will keep them from getting "hangry" in public. Temper tantrums are the hallmark of the terrible twos. If your child pitches one, the most important first step is remaining calm. Unlike older children, who may cause a scene to challenge authority, a 2-year-old is simply enacting behaviors that they think could get a response.
Responding to yelling or hitting in kind only communicates to your child that aggression is an acceptable means of communication and can make a temper tantrum worse. Instead, if confronted with a tantrum, try some of these strategies:.
Sometimes he is the sweetest loveliest boy ever, like Jekyll and Hyde. He just doesn't seem to listen to no either. Just looks at me and laughs, even when it is something dangerous. Trying to potty train at the moment and it's a disaster. I'm at. I had PND after he was born.
Labour with him was horrendous as if even that was his will-fullness and awkwardness showing even then lol I feel even more guilty that parenting his baby brother seems to be a breeze. I feel like my PND has giving him issues. I get so quick to anger with him and always hate myself when I shout. Thank you for this thread. It makes me feel much better knowing I'm not the only one. The more frustrated I am by his behaviour, the funnier he finds it, which is infuriating and also soul destroying.
When he feels like it, he's a little angel, but he saves his best boundary-testing for me! Survival tips please! Toddlers 1 - 3 years My kid can read numbers and he's not even 2 yet! Toddlers 1 - 3 years How long does your 2 year old nap for??? I was where you are now. It really hurt and I just burst into tears. Luckily hubby was there too so he could help manage the situation.
He went through a few hitting stages and it was always me he hit, he never hit his dad. I used to take it personally but now I know it was just because I was the person closest to him and he just didnt know how to communicate his feelings.
Now he is 3. It gets much easier as their language and understanding improves. You need to find your own methods of discipline that work for your child. I used to put him in his bedroom and shut the door and let him burn out for 10mins. Always get them to say sorry afterwards and ask them to tell you what they did that was wrong.
In fact, we find that children who are given the freedom to explore their environments grow up to be highly motivated. By age 4, children are more emotionally and socially aware, patient and more verbal. This helps them be able to express themselves properly, especially if you have coached them on emotions in the toddler years and you should see an end to tantrums. If the parents have not been able to teach the child how to express his emotions in an acceptable way and not created an environment at home where the child feels safe to express his true feelings, you will see a continuation of the tantrums and other defiant behaviors.
Related reading : How to get your toddler to listen without yelling. Emotion Coaching I highly recommend the my feelings cards as a game based way to work through and regulate emotions. For an in-depth look at how to deal with the terrible twos I would recommend reading this post I wrote with 10 tried and true tips that helped us through the twos.
My aim writing this post for you was to help you understand that though right now you may be feeling alone and lost as you parent your two-year-old, this is just a phase that will soon pass. When these years have gone by, you will see how the gentle parenting approach you take today helps your child grow more confident and settled. For more parenting tips follow me on my Instagram page where I regularly discuss my own gentle parenting journey.
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